An Experiment in Writing – Part 25: Accidental POV Shifts

I’m critiquing one of Liz Tuckwell‘s alternate history pieces.

First thing, Liz is a gifted author (I enjoy her work) and a regular member of RoundTable 360° (a monthly meeting of creatives from all disciplines where we discuss challenges all creatives face and support each other).

Anyway, while critiquing Liz’s piece, I ran into something interesting, something craft-issueish, and because I’m anal-retentive about writing craft, it stopped me.

The interesting thing was a shift in POVs (viewpoints):

Tully found it hard to enjoy the food when he was tasting it for poison. Each mouthful of honeyed pork or spiced dove might be his last. That also applied to the excellent Jyptian wine he had to try. How he hated Tremulous for suggesting Tully could be his food taster.

• Tully found it hard to enjoy the food when he was tasting it for poison. is a good line in 3rdPLO (third person, limited omniscient) POV
• Each mouthful of honeyed pork or spiced dove might be his last. is also a good line but is it in 3rdPLO or 1stP POV (and possibly even Deep POV)?
  One of the great things about speculative fiction writing (and which definitely separates it from other genres) is 1stP POV is a limited viewpoint by definition in other genres, not so in speculative fiction. The latter allows a the full range from the character only knowing about themselves (but not being honest with themselves hence not being honest with the reader – the unreliable witness character) to having god-like abilities and knowing what’s going on everywhere everywhen. Each has its benefits and detriments.
• That also applied to the excellent Jyptian wine he had to try. How he hated Tremulous for suggesting Tully could be his food taster. are both in 3rdP Omniscient.

  Going from 3rdPLO to 1stPDeep is fine because that’s how people think, but!!! the abrupt pullback can cause confusion. Usually the steps we take down a well (or into a character’s psyche) must equal the steps we take up a well (or a character’s psyche). We can run in either or both directions, and usually the steps have to be equal.

   
  Join us on the RoundTable. Reserve your space.

  Liz Tuckwell’s website.

  Deep POV

  Critique Groups

  Search

  Think I’m onto something? Take a class with me or schedule a critique of your work.
  Think I’m an idiot? Let me know in a comment.
  Either way, we’ll both learn something.

  Get copies of my books because it’s a nice thing to do, you care, you can follow along, and I need the money.