Noun: ghosting
Method of ending a personal relationship by stopping all contact without any explanation
A long time friend shared some dating woes with me. “Why can’t people say they’re not interested? Why do they have to say yeah I’ll get back to you and never do? Why do men have to be such dicks?”
I don’t think this is new. I’ve been out of dating for a long time. Long, long time. Long long long long time.
But ghosting existed pre mobiles, pre social networks, pre modern society. Look long enough and I’m sure you’ll find Caveman Oik ghosting Cavewoman Iik or vice-versa. I wrote about ghosting without using the term in The Shaman:
We no longer date. In school, Samantha doesn’t acknowledge me, ignores me, …
I’ve known ghosters all my life without knowing the term as such. They’re in business, in school, in academia, in churches, mosques, and synagogues, in 12-Step meetings, in professional organizations, … Let me know if you find a place where they’re not.
Okay, I know one place where they’re not – The Wild. But The Wild has its own set of social conduct. Ignore them, you die.
Talk about community regulation!
There are lots of explanations for ghosting. I won’t bore you with them, and I will invite you to recognize what each explanation points to, meaning follow each explanation’s evidentiary trail and you come to fear: the ghoster, in some way, shape, or form, fears the ghostee. Strange, I know, and look past the psychologic jargon and new age neologisms at the ghoster’s objectives and you find fear of commitment, fear of rejection, fear of confrontation, …
Now I’ll share a big surprise item with you; all these fears come down to a perceived power imbalance between ghoster and ghostee. The ghoster’s actions are essentially abusive to the ghostee. They are minimizing them, diminishing them, mistreating them.
It can be emotionally painful when the ghostee doesn’t understand what’s going on and continues reaching out, if only for an explanation. There are few things as depressing as echoing in the dark. Sadder still, the ghoster usually knows the ghostee is in pain due to the lack of exchange, and it’s the knowing which is the demonstration of the power imbalance. We hurt what we fear. People comfortable and confident in their power never use it unless and until absolutely necessary.
There are lots of ways to respond to ghosting. The best strategy? Take it as a learning opportunity. Give yourself a moment. Unless the ghoster gets back to you with some reasonable explanation – health, death, prolonged emergency, … – and no longer engages in ghosting behavior, give them a second chance (I believe everyone deserves a second chance).
But give yourself a moment. What did you want from the relationship with the ghoster? Attention? Recognition? Love? Money?
Could you get these from another source? Preferably one which doesn’t ghost you?
Because if you’re continually putting yourself in ghosting relationships, you’re the one with the challenge, not them. They could be ghosting you because they know you’re a risk they don’t wish to take on.
That noted, recognize your worth in any relationship. It’s best to start relationships with a clear understanding of expectations, goals, dreams, and desires on both sides. Obviously not all at once, not on the first date as it were, but whether in life or in business, it’s best to make your intentions clearly known and agreed to upfront.
Saves a lot of pain and confusion on both sides, that.
Now, ready to kick it up a notch?
Consider ghostng a demonstration of Call-Response Behavior.
Call-Response Behavior is all through The Wild and wired into us. Humans go through all evolutionary stages in the womb, from single cell to mammal, and Call-Response Behavior is part of our evolutionary heritage beginning with the first primitive mating signals (probably tactile, and don’t you enjoy a loving touch?).
The concept is simple. Let’s say your reading something on your phone or tablet or (god forbid!) in a book. You go “Hmmm.” Your mate, sitting nearby, says “Something interesting?” or “What’d’you find?” or something similar.
That’s a Call-Response and it’s how we know we’re okay in whatever relationship we’re in and is a form of mating behavior. Most often and without our realizing we’re doing it, we’ll up the ante if our mate doesn’t respond to our call with something like “Guess what I just read,” or “You’ll find this interesting,” or “I’ll bet you didn’t know,” or something similar, and we’ll keep upping the ante until we get some kind of response because any response is better than no response.
Anybody hearing echoes to the neglected child who increasingly acts out to get the attention they’re denied?
My friend may call it ghosting. Really it’s about Call-Reponse Behavior, and it’s all because we’re part of The Wild.
February 2026 Announcements
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RoundTable 360° – Our 26 Feb 2026 RoundTable 360° session is Oh, The Places You’ll Go
Creatives need breaks from their routine just like everyone else, but how do you stop being creative? How do you recharge? How do you take a rest from your creativity? Do painters stop seeing colors? Do photographers stop framing images? Do musicians go deaf? Where can you go to stop being creative?
Reserve your seat. |
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Publisher of Record/Vendor of Record/Headache of Record Part 2 – Continuing a thread which started in A Twelfth of Carrabis (Jan 2026 Newsletter), I kept digging because the explanations given didn’t mesh with experience.
Until I noticed Ingram and D2D having issues with books I published through them beginning in 2021.
Never doubt a shift in unknown regions will not wreck havoc in your little corner of the universe. This is, me thinks, an author/publisher specific butterfly effect.
I asked a very specific question: If a title is on Amazon and set only for Individual Territories (say US and Canada), not for All Territories (worldwide rights), do I still need a different ISBN on each platform (D2D, Amazon, Ingram, …) or am I allowed to use a single ISBN across all platforms provided I don’t overlap any territories on the platforms?
I asked the question the way I did because previous explorations revolved around “Who’s going to be paid for selling X in y?”
This is a sales territory/district/region question with a simple solution. If I tell VendorA to stay out of AreaB and tell VendorB to stay out of AreaA, no problem and I explained this in A Twelfth of Carrabis (Jan 2026 Newsletter), so nothing new there.
But here’s the new piece as revealed by D2D’s Amelia: It sounds like you might be referring to Expanded Distribution with Amazon. If your books have ever been enrolled in Expanded Distribution, then our print services would not be beneficial to you as we use the same print vendor.
If your book has NOT been in Amazon Expanded Distribution then you can use a different ISBN to publish on our platform. If a paperback is published to Amazon at all, they typically never release the ISBN hence the need for a new, never used ISBN.
So the reason behind the reason? Printing confusion.
This falls into the “how much do you need to know” bucket. Do you need to know all this? Only if you’re like me, and god help you if you are.
But at least more of the behind the behind is revealed should you be interested |
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Sister Claudia Noriega-Bernstein’s Brighter Days – Claudia wrote Brighter Days during a very vulnerable moment in her life. She became seriously ill with COVID and wasn’t sure if she was going to make it. She battled cancer three times, so her immune system was compromised, and at the same time, her daughter had just lost her father. In that moment, she felt a deep need to leave a legacy for her children, something that could live on as a whisper of guidance and love for them, God forbid anything ever happened to her.
That’s how this book was born, 88 of the most important lessons she’s learned in life, lessons she wanted to pass on not only to her children, but also to women who want to build confidence, resilience, and courage.
Five years later, she republished it in a richer, expanded version, more intentional, more powerful, and with a new preface where she share parts of her life and story that shaped the woman she am today.
This book is meant to be a tool for anyone going through a difficult time, for anyone who needs a piece of advice, a moment of encouragement, or a reminder that they are not alone. It’s filled with short stories, small lessons, and gentle anecdotes. It’s an easy read, and above all, it’s a true labor of love.
This is the description on Amazon: Have you ever felt lost, confused, or unmotivated? she have been on a journey of self-growth for over thirty years now…I have changed the way I eat, the way I dress, the way I think, the way I ”digest” things, and the way I spend her money, among other things. I always felt it was all part of becoming the authentic ME that I was meant to be! But the empty feeling didn’t go away until I decided to look for happiness inside myself, to acknowledge her gifts, and appreciate what is.
In this journey, I have learned that every day, a version of myself expires. I get closer and closer to who I am meant to be, becoming her true self. The person you knew or you thought I was, no longer exists as I is only a sketch of the masterpiece I strive to be.
YOUR growth is imminent, and YOU owe no apology for that.
Here I am sharing examples from her voyage to show you essential lessons about some things I have learned, something I love, and inspiring memoirs, family, marriage, love,and friendship.
After reading this book
- You will have the tools you need to stop the past from repeating itself
- You will embrace your power and visualize the life you want.
- You will finally learn how to put yourself first and not allow negative talk to stop you from achieving your dreams.
- You will learn to choose your tribe and let go of toxic people.
You can start living your best life!! Start now! |
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Writers’ Month Long Workshop – March 2026’s writers’ workshop covers many if not all phases of craft and storytelling. The workshop is on Wednesdays, 4-25 Mar 2026, morning and evening openings available. Sign up here.
You can an idea of what craziness (and learning!) will ensue on my Experiments in Writing posts. |
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Bound Together Books and Northern Lights Publishing Present… – Bound Together owner Michelle Audet’s asked me to help her vet authors and host regular author events at her West Peart St, Nashua, store. I’m currently seeking authors willing to give up a Friday night, 6:30-?pm, to talk about their work, take part in a panel discussion, give a class/training, read, sign, et cetera.
Email me if all the following are true
- You have at least one (1) book published and available. The more recently published the better, or if your book has a regional or seasonal tie in, also good.
- You can get to Nashua to drop off 5-10 of your books two weeks prior to your scheduled event AND for your scheduled event.
- You can make time for a Zoom chat with me so I can put together a 5-10m promo material for your book/topic/presentation. This means a hi-res headshot, hi-res bookcover, blurb, writeup, pitchline, teaser, backcover copy, related hi-res artwork, basically material we can put together to get the word out.
- And this is the big one: You will actively promote ALL author events, not just your own. Actively means via your social media (FB, LI, IG, TikTok, BlueSky, Mastodon, Cameroon, Dingbat, Marzipan (and yes, I made the last three up), your blog, … and several times, not just once. Fail to do so and you’re event will be canceled. This also applies to authors after their event. Failure to promote other authors brings your videos down.
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Talk with the Editors – Wilderness House Literary Review EIC Steve Glines and I (Senior Fiction Editor) hold monthly open chats with authors interested in a) writing for us, b) improving their craft in general, and/or c) increasing their chances of being accepted by other markets.
Meetings are held via Zoom on the last Friday of each month from 9-10amET.
So, want to know how to write for us? Want to know what gets our attention? Want to know how to write better for whatever market you’re interested in? Join us for our next “Meet the Editors” Zoom session. Seats limited! Sign up and talk with us. We’re relatively easy going and fun to be with. |
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Brother Rick Barnes’ Outcast Club – Here’s the right up for The Unicorn Horn: The Outcast Club Book One
They were known as the outcast club. Leo, Kate, and Samuel sit together each day at the peanut allergy table, doing their best to avoid the school bullies, Daniel and Ernie. Daniel and Ernie are monsters who find daily enjoyment threatening, beating and making nasty remarks to anyone smaller than themselves, which happens to be everyone else in the school. Just when Leo thought things couldn’t get any worse for him and his friends, Leo accidentally spills a lunch tray all over the leader of the goon duo, Ernie. After a frantic chase through their school, the kids find a tunnel leading them into a world inhabited by magical creatures, where they are quickly captured by an army of orcs, after being mistaken as part of the Army of the Unicorn. The five unlikely allies are forced to put aside their differences and work together as a team in order to escape the dangers and to find their way home–all while being stalked by a talking wolf and their creepy school janitor (who seems to be hiding some terrible secret). And all that is just the beginning of the threats that await them. The Unicorn Horn is the first book in the Outcast Club series, the adventures of the young students of Stark Middle School and their journey through a magical passageway located under their school’s auditorium. The dark mysterious tunnel holds secrets unlocked in this book series that will sure to delight readers of all ages. Turn the pages and join Leo and his friends as they begin their adventures.
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Brother Greg Hickey’s 2025 Best Reads For almost a decade, Greg’s making lists of the best books in the genres I write in. And since authors never stop writing great books, I publish updates to those lists every year.
So here are the best works of dystopian, philosophical, literary mystery, and sci-fi crime fiction of 2025, along with two bonuses to accompany each list: 1) book recommendations from some of the top authors in each genre and 2) a one-page shopping guide for each genre list.
Happy reading! |
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Cicatrix needs first readers.
Paul is a mathematical genius. Nobody doubts that. His thesis demonstrates a way to mathematically bridge realities, to bring what’s “over there” to “here” and vice-versa.
The problem is nobody really knows what’s “over there,” and people can only imagine based on their experiences. You can describe the ocean to someone but until they experience it first hand, they really don’t understand it. Similarly, committees shouldn’t be allowed to design horses. Paul experiments with his reality engines, but much of what he conceives of being “over there” is based on childhood trauma. There are monsters over there, and Paul’s equations bring one “here,” to finish the work his parents began years ago.
Cicatrix is ~20k words, novella length. Email me if you’d like to be a first reader, let me know what needs fixing, and how to fix it. |
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RC & JP Carter’s MAGIC BENEATH MANHATTAN – A Portal Romantasy | Fantasy Romance with Dragons and Magic – Heads up Readers! Release date on Amazon 3/5/2026. Avail for pre-order on sale the week prior (Ebook 99 cents)!
Aurora Quinn is a junior editor at a niche publishing house in Soho, living a quiet, predictable life in Midtown Manhattan—until her routine subway commute changes everything. When Aurora steps onto a subway car marked with the number 4488, a mysterious conductor hands her an old subway token and warns her to keep it hidden. Moments later, he vanishes without a trace.
At her usual stop, Aurora expects concrete beneath her feet—but instead finds herself standing on grass. The subway disappears, and she realizes she has crossed into another world.
A shadow passes overhead. A dragon soars through the sky, its armored rider loosing an arrow that narrowly misses Aurora and strikes a troll mounted on a gargoyle. In an instant, Aurora is thrust into Aelthryn, a dangerous and enchanting realm of high magic and ancient power.
This portal romantasy weaves romance and adventure through a richly imagined fantasy world filled with dragons, gargoyles, castles, trolls, imps, wizards, magicians, shape-shifters, and dark secrets—where destiny, desire, and survival collide.
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Graphic Artist Needed!!! I mention Recovery Triptych needing first readers above.
That book and the metahuman anthology Tales of the Northern Clan are planned as graphic novels.
Right now the big challenge to that plan is finding a graphic artist, so please send any graphic artists familiar with that format to us. Thanks. |
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Sister Sally Chetwynd’s “You Can Edit, Too!” Class will be held on Thursday, March 26, 2026, 7-9 pm. It’s a 2-hour in-person workshop on revision and editing with Brass Castle Arts’ Sally M. Chetwynd at the helm. Or screen. Red pen, maybe?
The class will be held at the Writers Collaborative Learning Center (WCLC), 2 Haven Street, Reading, MA 01867, 781-663-2800.
Free for members; $20 for non-members. Class size is limited to fifteen participants, and each participant gets a workbook and is entered to win a prize.
Sign up online to reserve your place. |
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Sister Vineeta Kommineni’s Zen CitizenSister Vineeta Khomenini writes “This
month has been one of the most fulfilling for our team! We truly experienced what becomes possible with strong institutional support.
The BDA eAuction Portal goes live Our aspirations have turned to reality – the eAuction portal we developed for BDA is now integrated into their website.
To our knowledge, this may be the first instance of a government body adopting work developed by a citizen volunteer group. And the recognition from The Hindu and Bangalore Mirror made this milestone all the more special.
Specifically, we transformed a static PDF – one that effectively limited broader citizen participation and favored an insider circle, into an interactive, mobile-optimized interface with a map view.
We also reorganized the information and rewrote the process instructions and Terms and Conditions in plain English, making the eAuction process more accessible and transparent for citizens.
This achievement was made possible by our volunteers: Priti Pandurangan, designed and developed the portal; Jayesh Rao, Karthik Ramesh and Chetan BY hosted and deployed the solution on the BDA portal.
Furthering partnership with BDA: eKhata, Grievance Tracking, and Scaling through Seva Sindhu We are now working on simplifying the eKhata process for BDA. As part of this effort, we are engaging with the team at Seva Sindhu, the state portal that hosts over 850 citizen services in Karnataka. This partnership has the potential to unlock impact on a scale we had not imagined until now.
We are also exploring the creation of a tracking system for BDA’s social media grievances team. While the current volume is manageable manually, an automated system would help streamline follow-ups by the team, track communication with the concerned officers from whom information or action is required, and strengthen accountability. In cases where responses are delayed, automated escalations to senior officials could be triggered.
Thank you for staying with us! |
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A Little Game – I’m going to change this section up a bit beginning this month.
Why do elephants wear different color sneakers?
The first five people to get back to me with a correct answer get a signed Tales Told ‘Round Celestial Campfires Volume 2 ebook. The first person to get back to me with answers that make me laugh gets a signed print copy (and no looking it up on the internet, folks!). |
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That’s it for February. See you next month!
Enjoy!
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