He stands naked in a ditch.

I mentioned back in Four pieces for a workshop I’m taking an online writing course. I’m sharing the exercises from that class in that post, Two Pieces for a Workshop, and in Four (Other) Pieces for a Workshop. This post is from the last class in that series. Here we were given “He stands naked in a ditch.” as a prompt and asked to create an atmospheric flash piece/tone poem from it.

I came up with the following 54 word piece.

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Hester

There is a sense of peace and charity when one sees The Wild comfortable and safe.

It is rare for them, you know.

There is no such thing as deep sleep in The Wild. In a world filled with predator and prey, deep sleep is dangerous.

Even we, modern humans, could not enter deep sleep until relatively recently in our evolutionary and cultural history. Children could enter deep sleep but once they became ambulatory, such relaxations were out, forgotten, denied.

Must keep watch. From animal predators originally; large cats, bears, carnivorous flightless birds, wolves and similar roving pack dogs, boars, … Sheltering in trees meant you had to be awake enough to catch yourself if you rolled off the branch. Eventually humans realized shelters were a good thing, but that also meant predators went from hungry animals to other humans who wanted your shelter, your children, your mate, …

Even now-a-days, truly deep sleep is a luxury few allow themselves. Nancy Reagan said she kept a small revolver in her nightstand in case anyone broke in.

Good for her, and that meant she either slept little or extremely lightly; she’d end up shooting Ron on his way back from the lou otherwise.

Such deep, dreamful sleep is not seen often in The Wild.

So when we see an animal, Hester the raccoon is an example, being restful and at peace, munching away, having a sip or two of water, we rejoice.

 

Kit Reed’s “Revision”

I first read Kit Reed’s Revision (probably) four years ago. It was one of the first books I read when I decided to spend the rest of my life writing. I dogeared two pages.

I finished my second read about a week ago (as I write this). The book is a mess of dogeared pages.

It’s amazing how much more Kit Reed put into this book in four years, don’t you think?

Extra Effort Closes the Distance between You and Your Audience.

 
The entirety of the book comes down to Reed’s Rule Six: Extra Effort Closes the Distance between You and Your Audience.

Whenever you come to a moment of hesitation, unsurety, confusion, skimming, general off-ness, stop, figure out what’s not working, and fix it.

 
And Reed also provides a caution; Recognize when it’s done and let it go. There’s lots of examples of recognizing when something’s let-goable and when something isn’t. The one that hit me smack between the eyes is “Whenever you come to a moment of hesitation, unsurety, confusion, skimming, general off-ness, stop, figure out what’s not working, and fix it.”

I am training myself to do that. Too many times I’d read something and need to reread it, figure it out on the second take and decide it was okay.

NO, IT WASN’T!

Reed also offers several question lists to help you in your own revising. Early in the book Reed poses twelve questions so you can learn if you’re open to revision. Don’t know about others, I found it revealing (especially when invoking Reed’s suggestion to be strict (unforgiving) with your answers).

Another duh! list early in the book (pg 39) deals with determining if your work (and others, too, if you’re in a critique group) is ready to go out. Reed suggests writers/authors/writer-wannabes read for:

  1. Truth in action
  2. Accessibility
  3. Completeness
  4. Time scheme
  5. Point of view
  6. Length (with an eye to possible cutting)
  7. Organization
  8. And, once again, balance of showing versus telling. (Reed’s words, this, not mine)

Unsure what some of those mean? Read the book.


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Four (Other) Pieces for a Workshop

I mentioned back in Four pieces for a workshop that I’m taking an online writing course and shared the requested exercises in that post and in Two Pieces for a Workshop. This time we were asked to 1) evoke emotion in two lines and 2) write about someone experiencing a strong emotion.

Evoke Emotion in Two Lines

  • He couldn’t believe what he heard,
    A siren calling his name.
  • The sky fell down around him,
    Drunken stars lit like father’s eyes.
  • She dabbed nail-polish on his nose.
    Easier that scratching his cheeks.
  • The guitar played itself in the corner
    Memories of old songs lost in time.

Someone experiencing a strong emotion
My sister lost her grip on the inner tube I sat in. The current pulled me out, away from the dock. I was focused on my parents and their friends drinking, laughing, eying each others’ buttocks and bulges and breasts, deciding who would spend the night with whom.

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The Rabbit

It’s wondrous when The Wild wants your attention (notice the alliteration? I can do things like that. I being an author an’ all).

In this case, I caught a little hopping outside my window as I worked.

I looked up, saw nothing, continued being creative.

Another slight movement. Not a hop, more a wobbly walk.

What could it be?

Behold, a rabbit!

Quiet and shy (most of The Wild is), it took me a moment and then a slight movement and there he was.

This is a new rabbit to us. No idea of his name yet.

But we’re patient.

And so is he.

Enjoy.