That Th!nk You Do Chapter X+5 – Want to be Heard? See a Musician

(Another chapter in my forthcoming non-fiction That Th!nk You Do (note the clever change in the title? Gotta love those creatives, don’t you?) The fascinating chapter numbers are due to unfinished editing. I hope to share the bookcover soon)


Do you ever wish someone would just listen to you? That you could find someone who could understand not just the words but the emotions behind them? Well, it turns out that’s very easy to do.
Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter X+5 – Want to be Heard? See a Musician”

That Th!nk You Do Chapter X+4 – Can’t Be Happy? Blame Your Parents

(Another chapter in my forthcoming non-fiction That Th!nk You Do (note the clever change in the title? Gotta love those creatives, don’t you?) The fascinating chapter numbers are due to unfinished editing. I hope to share the bookcover soon)


Are you happy? Do you have a positive outlook on life? Is the glass usually half full when you drink from it?

If so, there’s a better than even chance you’re from Latin American countries, possibly the US and could have northern Mediterranean ancestry. Not so happy? Chances are your from Asia or the Pacific Rim countries.

What…did you think I was going to suggest you blame your parents for your outlook on life? Maybe in another column, but this time out we’re going to look at how ethnic origins – ancestry – often pre-determines how you’ll deal with life’s situations big and small.

According to a now long-standing study involving five dominant ethnic groups, ethnic origins play a significant role in how people view their world. These results don’t surprise me, and I’m sure they don’t surprise anyone with a cultural anthropology background.

But why is one culture happier than another? Cultures that place higher values on self-worth and self-fulfillment – as opposed to group identity – tend to promote happier, psychologically healthier individuals. But wait, there’s more…

It also seems that cultures that promote open emotionalism have happier, psychologically healthier individuals.

Open emotionalism? Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter X+4 – Can’t Be Happy? Blame Your Parents”

That Th!nk You Do Chapter X+3 – Rewarding Your Critical

(Another chapter in my forthcoming non-fiction That Th!nk You Do (note the clever change in the title? Gotta love those creatives, don’t you?) The fascinating chapter numbers are due to unfinished editing. I hope to share the bookcover soon)


Do you have a little voice inside your head that warns you about things you’re about to do? Maybe it goes beyond warning you, perhaps it out and out chides you or even yells so loudly it stops you dead in your tracks?

Congratulations, you’ve been in touch with what people studying learning models call your critic (not a surprising name considering what it does, is it?).

Do you have a little voice inside your head that makes suggestions on how to get the most out of whatever you’re about to do? Maybe it goes beyond suggestions, maybe it reminds you of what worked and what didn’t in the past? Maybe it demands this path be followed over that path?

Congratulations again, now you’re talking with your actor.

Want to learn how to confuse them or even shut them up completely? It’s probably obvious (once you think about it) that our mind’s actor and critic come from different parts of the brain. The critic comes from the front part of the brain where reasoning occurs, the actor from the rear of the brain where we process vision and memory (generally speaking).

Both are necessary. They’re part of what’s called instrumental conditioning and constitute the most basic form of adaptive behavior. Adaptive behavior and instrumental conditioning are very important to our survival as individuals and as a species. We adapt how we behave in order to maximize rewards and minimize punishments, and that process of adapting is done in (hopefully) small steps by conditioning ourselves to our environment.

The actor reminds us what happened before in similar environments and helps us predict what to do in the present environment. The critic predicts future gains and losses by evaluating present conditions and information out of our direct experience. We need both of them. They work in tandem for most of us and people lacking one or the other tend to take unnecessary risks or avoid new situations altogether.

But what if your critic-actor is too critical or too…umm…actorial?

Both critic and actor cause the brain to send hormonal signals through the body. Most often these signals are survival oriented – great for the jungle and possibly night walks in a city, not quite the same as deciding what you should purchase or whether or not to get on that really big roller coaster.

So here’s how to deal with both and let you – your hopefully rational, thinking, intelligent self – make the decisions.
Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter X+3 – Rewarding Your Critical”

That Th!nk You Do Chapter X+2 – Four Rules for Thinking Like An Expert

(Another chapter in my forthcoming non-fiction That Th!nk You Do (note the clever change in the title? Gotta love those creatives, don’t you?) The fascinating chapter numbers are due to unfinished editing. I hope to share the bookcover soon)


What is expertise? Most people know it when they see it or when they’re in the presence of someone with expertise in a given field. Talking with a friend yesterday, she admitted she hardly feels like an expert even though she’s taught at the university level.

I asked “How come?” and she answered, “Because I’m old enough to know what I don’t know.”

Would you like to play a game? Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter X+2 – Four Rules for Thinking Like An Expert”

That Th!nk You Do Chapter X+2 – Get a Good Mad Going – It Might Be Good For You

You’re about to enter a meeting and you’ve been warned you’re going to be challenged…a lot.
Is it better

  • to seek a quiet place, to calm yourself, to find your
    center and go into the meeting relaxed or
  • to focus on the idea of being challenged, being put on
    the spot, possibly being singled out in front of your
    peers?

Based on studies performed in Boston and elsewhere, it’s better to enter confrontational situations a little hot under the collar.

Just so we’re clear on things, I’m not suggesting you go in armed for bear and looking to take no prisoners, nothing of the sort.

That offered, chances are you’ll come out of the meeting or situation better if you go in with your blood up. The reasons are (evolutionary-wise) simple. Knowing a confrontation or some unpleasantness will take place gives your mind and body and evolutionary advantage, the “fight” aspect of what use to be called the flight-or-fight response. Just knowing a challenge is looming causes changes to your body chemistry, especially your neural chemistry. You go from prey to predator mode, essentially, and your body adjusts itself without your realizing it’s doing so. Your movements, your voice, your expressions, even your irises start giving off “Keep your distance, bucko!” signals that other people, equally without realizing it, pick up and respond to.

Walk Like a … Predator Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter X+2 – Get a Good Mad Going – It Might Be Good For You”