An Experiment in Writing – Part 22: More on Plotlines, Timelines, and Throughlines

Believing strongly that if you want to learn how well you understand something, explain it to someone else.

That’s right up there with if you truly understand something, you should be able to explain it to a three year old.

If you can get them away from their devices, of course.

There’s a difference between I know what I mean and I can explain what I mean.

Herein I hope I explain it as well as I know it.

Leave a comment and let me know.

Enjoy!

 
Think I’m onto something? Take a class with me or schedule a critique of your work.
Think I’m an idiot? Let me know in a comment.
Either way, we’ll both learn something.

Get copies of my books because it’s a nice thing to do, you care, you can follow along, and I need the money.

PS) If you can make a better image, go for it and please send it to me. I’ll re-render the video and give you closing credit.

An Experiment in Writing – Part 19: Plotlines, Timeslines, Throughlines

I ran into a challenge with my work the past week or two. I had a long story (~9.5k words) originally penned (okay, typed) in 2013 (and I’ll bet I can find earlier copies in my notes somewhere) which I had revised once in 2016, three times in 2017, once in 2018, three times in 2019 (obviously odd years are my workier years), … and now have it at version 17 in 2025.

It got closer and closer. One big early challenge was getting the voice correct. Once I had that, the story flowed.

Kind of.

The story is told through multiple viewpoints with no single viewpoint lasting longer than two pages before another viewpoint takes over and again and again and again, with each viewpoint jumping back and forth through time (hence being non-linear).

The challenge was how to give the reader a linear sense of the story without sacrificing the non-linear requirement of the story.

This is a challenge I’ve encountered before, and the solution from before worked again.

Enjoy!

 
Think I’m onto something? Take a class with me or schedule a critique of your work.
Think I’m an idiot? Let me know in a comment.
Either way, we’ll both learn something.

Get copies of my books because it’s a nice thing to do, you care, you can follow along, and I need the money.

An Example of the Experiments, 4 – Fains I – A John Chance Mystery

We left off in An Example of the Experiments, 2 – Fains I with the promise of sharing the original Fains I opening and the rewrite making use of multiple storycrafting techniques.

I shared the original first ~900 words in An Example of the Experiments, 3 – Fains I and here I share the rewrite, now the first chapter in a work-in-progrWe left off in An Example of the Experiments, 2 – Fains I with the promise of sharing the original Fains I opening and the rewrite making use of multiple storycrafting techniques.

I shared the original first ~900 words in An Example of the Experiments, 3 – Fains I and here I share the rewrite, now the first chapter in a work-in-progress, the Fains I – A John Chance Mystery novel.

My first question is, as a reader, does this appeal more to you than the original version? If yes, because…? If not, because…? Figure out what makes it better or worse and you’ll have some excellent handles on your own crafting.

Now to analyze…

First thing, what happened to Tim and his family?

Remember my writing “I realized the rewritten opening sucked because I didn’t know enough about the characters to really care about them. The shift from teenager going to the prom to elderly man on his deathbed drove the story in the correct direction and not enough.” in An Example of the Experiments, 2 – Fains I?

I was correct that the story had an older cast of characters (demonstrated in the rewrite above).

I also wrote “This brings us back to An Example of the Experiments – Fains I’s First Question: Who Owns the Story?”

As written earlier, the core piece – someone dies and Tim’s involved – was solid enough to carry the story, but nothing I came up with made Tim interesting enough to me to write about him and, as noted previously, readers will only be interested in your characters if you’re interested in you’re characters.

How to make “Tim” more interesting to me? Hmm…

The original story had a car accident resulting in a death. Too random. Yeah, there could be guilt and an accident is an accident is an accident, and accidents happen.

Give Tim

  1. a reason to murder someone and
  2. make him remorseless about the murder because
  3. he feels justified in the killing.

Okay, psychosociopathic youngsters are interesting but can be limiting because a youth doesn’t have the life experience to have those attitudes fully realized, so an older “Tim” who feels justified and has no guilt.

Gosh golly gee. Tim’s becoming quite three-dimensional here. He’s interesting.

What if the older Tim had committed several murders, believed all of them justified and remains remorseless and guilt free?

This Tim’s obviously got a) a history and b) some issues.

And the best part is such psychosociopaths are usually pretty good at hiding who they are from public view.

Sometimes you can let the reader know more about a situation than the characters know about this situation.

 
Alfred Hitchcock gave a great example of creating audience interest, empathy, and tension: Have two people eating lunch or having a drink at a picnic table or a an outdoor cafe. Now put a ticking bomb under the table and make sure the audience sees it and knows what it is.

Doesn’t matter if the audience likes or dislikes the people at the table, they’re interested in what happens.

So there’s a psychosociopath loose, no one knows it, and the reader learns it. Great! Excellent.

But don’t tell the reader everything at once. Foreshadow. Hint. Mislead and misdirect, all of which now stars with the novel’s A John Chance Mystery subtitle (Search – The First John Chance Mystery has already signalled regular readers more John Chance novels are coming and new readers Fains I is part of a series).

Ooo. This is getting better already. We’re starting to have a story.

The last part mentioned previously was have an interesting person in an interesting place doing an interesting thing and “Give the reader an interesting person in an interesting place doing an interesting thing. If you only give one, it’s got to be incredibly strong. Two is good, three is dynamite.” along with Relatability and the four basic ways people relate to things:

  1. they’re familiar with a place (Setting)
  2. they’re familiar with what’s happening (Plot)
  3. they’re familiar with the people involved (Character)
  4. they’re familiar with what’s being said (Language)

and remember to throw in And add in what makes a great opening: conflict, tension, oddness, …?

Throw all this in the pot, let simmer, stir occasionally, season to taste, and we get (I hope) something closer to what’s the story, a first pass of which is shown above. A detailed (pretty much line-by-line) analysis is below:

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All Fains I posts.

An Experiment in Writing – Part 4: More on Closings

Picking up from where we left off in An Experiment in Writing – Part 3: More on Openings, Closings, we’re going a little more into closings.

Just so we’re all clear on this, these Experiments in Writing posts are more for me. I hope you get something from them, yes, and I’m using them more to learn where I need work, to discover what I don’t yet understand fully if at all, and to keep myself improving.

I’m really doing these for myself, solipsist that I am…

And now, more on closings…

 
Think I’m onto something? Take a class with me or schedule a critique of your work.
Think I’m an idiot? Let me know in a comment.
Either way, we’ll both learn something.

Pick up a copy of Empty Sky and/or The Augmented Man, the books I reference in this post (should you not already have them (shame on you!)) and want to follow along.

FYI, future Experiments in Writing will cover

  • Exposition via dialogue
  • Action scenes
  • Language/word choice
  • Exposition
  • and a whole lot more…if I even get to them.

Writing Mentoring

You are a fabulous teacher. – Parsippany, NJ

 
Let me save you some time before reading this post by starting out as I did with Critiques: Online or via Email; Do you want to improve your writing? Are you willing to pay to improve?

If the answer to either of those is No then read no further, this post isn’t for you.

Answered Yes to both? Read on.

The Joseph I know is a gifted author, supportive human, and thoughtful mentor. His thoughtful insights on a myriad of subjects allows for lively discussions and good insights. … The operative word is constructive. Suggestions by Joseph are very specific which helps the entire learning process. Note, this is different than simply working with an editor, or English teacher, or even beta readers, because the feedback is actionable. It is an honor to rank Joseph as a mentor. – Houston, TX

 
Continue reading “Writing Mentoring”