Quite the Life (and all in Times New Roman 10pt!)
We’re happy to report Hyacinth and her kits made it through another winter. They woke pretty much on schedule and came for their…umm…dinner?
A bit late for breakfast or lunch.
Unless they’re working 3rd shift.
Which is possible. Raccoons are usually nocturnal. At least around here. Except when they’re preggers and/or nursing. Either one, they come around for a good helping of protein and fat (dog food and peanuts).
We’re happy to be of service.
The Wild gives so much.
Note: this originally appeared as part of a subscription podcast series my company offered. I’m resurrecting it here as a reference point for people reading “Power Unlimited” is in Daikaijuzine’s Anguirus Issue and Beware of Soul Killers.
Enjoy!
Sometimes we have to work with people who seem perfectly normal yet, when we get away from them, we feel a little weaker, a little sadder, a little more melancholy and, for lack of a better term, a little less.
What was there about our interaction with them that left us in such a state? Perhaps they had low self-esteem and took some of yours to make up for their lack. The end result is that your self-esteem got drained and you didn’t even open the tap.
Here’s how to recognize low self-esteem in others and a few things to do about it.
Self-esteem is a measure of how much we value ourselves, a purely internal measure of how we compare ourselves to others.
Psychologically healthy people have good self-esteem, meaning they believe they’re on a par with others in the personal and work achievement departments. Even when they meet an Olympic gold medal winning MD-PhD who’s piloted the space shuttle and discovered a cure for cancer, their self-esteem stays in tact because that gold medal winning person is the exception, not the rule, and people with good self-esteem recognize this.
Few people with low self-esteem carry sandwich boards announcing themselves and they do give off signs of low self-esteem. For example:
People with low self-esteem can be intelligent, witty, charming and disarming in the extreme, until something happens that causes them to evaluate themselves in comparison to someone else, and if that someone else is a rival, watch out!
Dealing with Self-Esteem Stealers
Rarely does challenging someone about their self-esteem do any good. What does work is pointing out to them that their remarks can be hurtful and that their remarks are not appreciated. Be prepared to be challenged so also be prepared to be strong and hold your ground. People with low self-esteem can’t let you keep yours, it would only serve as a reminder that they are less and you are more.
That’s all for now. Stay warm and well.
Note: this originally appeared as part of a subscription podcast series my company offered. I’m resurrecting it here as a reference point for people reading “Power Unlimited” is in Daikaijuzine’s Anguirus Issue.
Enjoy!
Part of life is having painful experiences, things that cause some emotional, physical, psychological or spiritual pain. We know more about alleviating physical pain than any of the others and that in itself causes concern.
Most people, as they grow into adulthood and go through life, learn to place painful experiences in their place. They gain perspective and know, for example, that today’s breakup is tomorrow’s chance for love.
And every once in a while people run into Soul Killers, those people who cause distress repeatedly. Some do so intentionally, others without realizing they’re doing so.
Some tricks for dealing with soul killing pain
We all run into people who simply bring us down. They have a knack for draining us of our energy, our vitality, our joys and pleasures. Some people do this on purpose, others have the ability as an unwanted gift. The ones who do it on purpose are subtle – they have to be! The others may not be subtle and they tend to be friends.
Both do it pretty much the same way; They tell us our experiences are invalid, not real, no good, inadequate and so on. They may be serious or joking and studies indicate such statements exact a psycho-emotional cost that results in a sense of futility, of worthlessness, in some cases physical exhaustion because the victim feels they are pushing against a weight that can’t be moved (and really due to micro and sometimes macro tensions in the muscles resulting from the psychological struggle). Telling someone their personal experience is not relevant or inadequate is the same as telling them they are not relevant or inadequate.
There are four basic ways people can drain us. Here are some examples
We have the right to let people know when we’re in pain or uncomfortable. Our sensations are real to us even if no one else can feel them.
Likewise, we have a right to our emotions. Modern society has only recently appreciated that people’s emotional intelligence is often more important to their survival than their cognitive intelligence.
Everybody is special, we’re just all special in our own ways. People need to know they are honored and respected regardless of their abilities and achievements, and the only way to get others to celebrate yours is to celebrate them yourself.
And finally, our thoughts are valid and real, meaningful and useful because they are based on our experiences and no two people share the exact same life stories. We’re allowed to believe what we want, and definitely what works for us, even if others think it’s malarkey.
Be your own advocate
Pay attention the next time you start feeling down, depressed, weak, exhausted, or drained. Did someone – or did you, yourself – attempt to kill your soul? Recognize soul killing techniques and no one will be able to kill your soul again.
That’s all for now. Stay warm and well.
Those wonderful, brave, and intelligent folks at Daikaijuzine published my short story, Power Unlimited, today. These are the wonderful, brave, kind, and intelligent folks who published another of my short stories, Cold War, last September.
Power Unlimited originally appeared in the April 1992 (and now defunct) ARAASP and my self-published anthology, Tales Told ‘Round Celestial Campfires V1 2016.
Daikaijuzine’s editors and publisher have exquisite taste. Don’t you think?
The story behind the story Continue reading ““Power Unlimited” is in Daikaijuzine’s Anguirus Issue”
My first rumination can be found at Ruminations Part I – “Your eyes are completely healed”
My second at Ruminations Part 2 – Numbers lead to informed decisions
Rumination Part 3-1 is Ruminations Part 3 – Sensitivity Readers, Part 1
Rumination Part 3-2 is Ruminations Part 3 – Sensitivity Readers, Part 2
Rumination Part 3-3 is Ruminations Part 3 – Sensitivity Readers, Part 3 – I Take a “Writing the Other” class
Rumination Part 3-4 is Ruminations Part 3 – Sensitivity Readers, Part 4 – Is your character POC or POM?
Ruminations Part 4 is Ruminations Part 4 – I can’t talk to women anymore
Ruminations Part 5 is Ruminations Part 5 – Joseph Carrabis (was/could be/might have been) (Personal Pronouns in Fun and Earnest)
Long, long ago I read Robert Silverberg’s NightWings and loved it. I reread it in college, again in my thirties, in my fifties, and it’s on my shelf for yet another read as I type this.
My latest version has a new introduction by Silverberg and is the genesis of this rumination.
Personal Setbacks
Silverberg mentions some personal losses in his new introduction; his house caught fire and he lost many works in progress (this was in the 1960s. “Backup” was a carbon copy you kept in another room). He sent an editor a rough version of NightWings. Silverberg lived in New York City, the editor’s offices were in New York City, people knew each other in the NYC science fiction/fantasy writing community, and the editor, knowing Silverberg’s situation, offered him LOTS of money for the rough draft.
Silverberg describes it as “…the sort of favor that one professional would automatically grant another in a time of crisis.”
Continue reading “Ruminations Part 6 – Professionalize this, Buddy”