An Example of the Experiments – Fains I

Sometime in the mid- to late-1970s, my third time through college (and still having no luck with traditional education of the time), I sat in my study in a rented house on Willand Pond Road and flipped through my copy of Brewer’s Dictionary of Phrase and Fable (the centenary edition revised by Ivor H. Evans). I wasn’t looking for anything in particular except to be distracted from exceedingly boring classwork.

I found it on pg 409: “Fains I.”

“Fains I” is “a schoolchildren’s term of unknown origin exempting the first to call: ‘Fains I goal-keeping.'”

Dig a little deeper and it’s used to offer protection for someone asserting an unprovable claim.

Dig lots deeper and there’s a reference to “Hercules’ Shirt,” meaning his wearing the skin of the Nemean Lion which was impervious to all but the most powerful weapons (can you say “arms race”?)

That prompted an ~2k word story which is now, thankfully, lost to antiquity.

BTW, that deepest reference is lost except in certain modern retellings of the Hercules legend (such as Dwayne Johnson’s Hercules) in which much of Hercules’ legend is called into question.

Yeah, okay, great.

What’s this got to do with the Experiments (in Writing)?

I mention in An Experiment in Writing – Part 7: Inciting Incidents that my current #work-in-progress is Fains I and that the opening sucks.

Well, of course it does.

And it’s fixable.

I’ve spent considerable neural horsepower over the past few weeks coming up with ways to a) make it better craft-wise and b) make it a better story, period (storytelling).

Some of the solutions point to the (currently 3,425 word) story becoming a novel.

I really don’t want to write another novel right now.

Okay, okay, okay.

What I can do is use Fain’s I as an example of some of the things I bring up in the Experiments in Writing.

Which we’ll begin now, with Fain’s I’s opening paragraph (anybody remember So I gave myself an exercise (eating my own dogfood)…? That’s what we’re going to do here for the next several weeks (or however long it takes for me to decide the story’s working and publishable).
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Great Opening Lines – and Why! (Nov 2024’s Great Opening Lines)

I wrote in Great Opening Lines – and Why! (Part 3 – Some Great Opening Lines) that I’d share more great opening lines as I found them.

My last entry in this category was December 2023’s Great Opening Lines – and Why! (December 2023’s Great Opening Lines) which covered Hal Clement’s‘s Hot Planet. This entry in the Great Opening Lines – And Why! posts is a threefer:

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An Experiment in Writing – Part 5: More on Openings – Establishing Voice, Atmosphere, Setting, POV, and Narrator

Picking up from where we left off in past experiments in writing

What I’ve discovered so far is these posts are going to be all over the place. Don’t look for a thread because, as I mention in this entry, something I mention in experiment 3 triggers something important and worth sharing but who knows when it’ll get into its own post?

I’ve learned to live with my shortcomings and would appreciate it if you’d do the same.

Both with mine and your own.

Because you know you have them and if you don’t admit to and acknowledge them, your characters will be flat, bland, and hollow, and who wants to read about characters like that? The world is already full of shallow, bland people. No need to populate your writing with them.

Anyway, on to establishing voice, atmosphere, setting, and narrator…

 
Think I’m onto something? Take a class with me or schedule a critique of your work.
Think I’m an idiot? Let me know in a comment.
Either way, we’ll both learn something.

Great Opening Lines posts
Katherine Mansfield via Great Opening Lines – and Why! (Mar 2019’s Great Opening Lines)
JD Salinger via Great Opening Lines – and Why! (Jan 2019’s Great Opening Lines)
Edgar Rice Burroughs (Tarzan of the Apes) via Great Opening Lines – and Why! (Nov 2024’s Great Opening Lines)

Writing Mentoring

You are a fabulous teacher. – Parsippany, NJ

 
Let me save you some time before reading this post by starting out as I did with Critiques: Online or via Email; Do you want to improve your writing? Are you willing to pay to improve?

If the answer to either of those is No then read no further, this post isn’t for you.

Answered Yes to both? Read on.

The Joseph I know is a gifted author, supportive human, and thoughtful mentor. His thoughtful insights on a myriad of subjects allows for lively discussions and good insights. … The operative word is constructive. Suggestions by Joseph are very specific which helps the entire learning process. Note, this is different than simply working with an editor, or English teacher, or even beta readers, because the feedback is actionable. It is an honor to rank Joseph as a mentor. – Houston, TX

 
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Critiques: Online or via Email

As a writer, Joseph helped me to unlock my potential, opening up parts of my stories’ universes I couldn’t see. – Beaumont, TX

 
Let me save you some time before reading this post; Do you want to improve your writing? Are you willing to pay to improve?

If the answer to either of those is No then read no further, this post isn’t for you.

Your critique of my novel was priceless. – Hudson, NH

 
Answered Yes to both? Read on.
Continue reading “Critiques: Online or via Email”