That Th!nk You Do Chapter 3 – Romancing Real Women … and I don’t have to write more because I’ve already got everybody’s attention

For those who didn’t know, I’ve signed with a new publisher and my first book out with them, That Think You Do, should be available late Nov-Dec ’22.


As always, let me know what you think.

Romancing Real Women … and I don’t have to write more because I’ve already got everybody’s attention

Men, pay attention:

Taunus swung the axe effortlessly, almost gracefully for a man his size. Up, over, down and the wood split evenly, almost willingly, cleaving cleanly in two and falling to either side of the stump he used as a brace. He took a neckerchief from his backpocket and wiped the sweat from his brow. Catching Raina staring at him, one hand raised to block the setting sun from blinding her, he smiled and pantomimed his circus-strongman origins at her until they both laughed.
Suddenly she screamed. A bear reared over Greya.
Greya, sitting in front of the cabin playing with the cornstalk doll Taunus made for her, turned.
The bear waived its forepaws over the child. Greya held her doll up towards the monster as if offering her toy to a friend.
Suddenly there was a silent blur and Taunus stood between Greya and the bear. Just stood. Unmoving. Calmly breathing. His dark eyes smiling at the bear. Raina heard his voice, low, soothing.
Greya giggled.
What was he saying, Raina wondered.
The bear lowered itself to all fours. It sniffed in Taunus’ direction, growled something — or said something, Raina couldn’t be sure — and trundled off.
Taunus turned and lifted Greya in his arms, tickled her until she laughed, kissed her, lowered her to her feet and nudged her in Raina’s direction. The child waddled off towards her mother.
Greya safely beside Raina, Taunus walked back to the woodpile. The sun glistened off his back, the old wounds receding as they realized today there would be no battle.


Taunus moved quietly but not so quietly Raina wasn’t warned of his approach as he left the surrounding wood.
What game today, she wondered. She kept her eyes closed and stretched on the blanket, enjoying the tickles of sunlight on her face. Behind her Greya cooed as she played with the cornstalk doll Taunus made for her.
Suddenly Raina felt her face in shadow. Small flowers gently took over the sunlight’s tickling role. She looked up to find Taunus kneeling beside her, showering her with petals of rose, oleander, and orange blossom.
His eyes echoed his words, “Every morning I wake and know there’s one more day of memories I have of you.”
He bent over her and she welcomed his soft, hesitant kiss. She pulled him closer, returning his kiss, letting them linger for a moment in the warmth of the setting sun, the warmth of their many years together.
Greya’s doll fell between them and the child giggled. They pulled away from each other, laughing and smiling.
Suddenly another shadow engulfed them all. A bear, rearing, waived its paws over them.
Taunus threw what petals remained in his hand at the bear. “Argos, old friend. Have you lost your honey?”
The bear fell to all fours, sneezed at the sun and trundled off.
“Greya,” said Raina. “Go find some honey for your pet. Father and I have things to discuss.”
Greya picked up her doll and waddled to where the bear waited, then the two of them went deeper into the surrounding wood.

Pick one that you think will get a woman’s attention.
Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter 3 – Romancing Real Women … and I don’t have to write more because I’ve already got everybody’s attention”

That Th!nk You Do Chapter 2 – Avoiding Deadly Silences

For those who didn’t know, I’ve signed with a new publisher and my first book out with them, That Think You Do, should be available late Nov-Dec ’22.


As always, let me know what you think.

Avoiding Deadly Silences

You know those movies about families’ hidden stories? Everybody’s happy and smiling and chuckles on the outside and anger and distrust and betrayal are like lava flows on the inside waiting to erupt leaving death and destruction in their wake?

Usually the climax is around a meal, a dinner table. Some little comment is said by this person and that person erupts. Or the child says something that only a child could say and the family suddenly has to deal with great uncle Poopah’s crimes against humanity.

There are reasons these types of things usually happen during meals. I’ve mentioned in presentations and trainings that there are two times when humans are biologically most vulnerable: when we’re putting stuff into our bodies and when we’re pushing stuff out of our bodies. Most people have had the experience of gathering around a table with an extended family and friends. Few people have then had the experience of gathering en masse in the loo.

The science of group, tribal and family behavior aside, there’s often much that goes unsaid in human relationships. You don’t like that they put dishes in the sink rather than the dishwasher. They don’t like the way you put toilet paper on the roll (men, did you know this one?).

Seem a little…umm…ridiculous? Small? Meaningless? Irrelevant?

Of course they do and of course they are. Their very triviality is what gives them their power.

Your significant other should know better, right? I mean, who doesn’t know there’s a preferred direction that toilet paper should come off the roll? Why would anybody leave dishes in the sink when it’s just as easy to put them in the dishwasher?

Here’s what you may not know about these little irritations that cause such major eruptions — people, feeling their life going out of control, will exert increasing control over trivial annoyances before they make any attempt to deal with major annoyances. The mistaken(!!!) belief is that by controlling the small they’ll gain control over the large.

Who Holds Back More, Women or Men?
What’s your guess? And let me up the ante while I’m asking. Do the genders go silent for the same or different reasons? Studies done at Fairhaven College and the University of Houston indicate that men resort to silence more often than women do but the reasons are different. Men use silence to maintain power (to keep their partner “on their toes”) or because they simply don’t know how to express themselves (and women everywhere are nodding in agreement. “You needed a scientific study to know this?”, they’re asking).

Women use silence because culturally and historically they have been second class citizens (women are really nodding now). Second class citizens’ role is to listen, not to speak, hence their emotions, feelings, wants, needs, and desires go unannounced by them and unnoticed by their partners.

What is true for both sexes? That self-silencing is dangerous. It causes depression and the more one self-silences the more one becomes depressed. Depression untreated is a death of the soul, folks, so let me share some methods for bringing both your and your partner’s souls back to life.

Avoiding the Silences
While there is no guarantee, talking and sharing our wants, needs, and desires often cures depression… or at least lets us know the individual we’re talking and sharing with isn’t as involved in the relationship as we’d like them to be. Talking and sharing — using certain guidelines — allows us to take back control or at least know what we can control in our lives.

And you need to know that talking and sharing — avoiding the silences — is hard work if you’ve never done it before. I wish I could say it’s easy, it’s fun, it’s as lively and exhilarating as a game of Stratego and I’d rather have you err on the side of caution than not. Here are some rules to help start the conversation and avoid the silences: Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter 2 – Avoiding Deadly Silences”

Gender Specific Marketing Discoveries

Long ago and far away I presented my company’s research at conferences far and wide.

One such presentation (from 2007, so dated, I’m sure) dealt with marketing to men and women, and specifically the differences necessary to get the attention of one, the other, and both.

Here’s a podcast of that presentation, ressurected because it’s mentioned in “Sex on the Beach” chapter of That Think You do.


That Th!nk You Do Chapter 1 – Manly Men Thinking Manly Thoughts Manickly (and Women Putting Up With Them)

For those who didn’t know, I’ve signed with a new publisher and my first book out with them, That Think You Do, should be available late Nov-Dec ’22.

That Think You Do is my first non-fiction title since 2016 and is based on a series of blog posts I wrote from 2008-16 for a California-based company. The blog posts were based on my company’s research and covered neuroscience, anthropology, linguistics, sociology, … My goal was (and is) to present useful pieces of information to readers, and evidently I did because my new publisher wants to publish them as a book (and possibly some of my other non-fiction blogs and books. Yeeha!).

So, until it’s available for purchase (I’ll post a pre-order link as soon as one’s available) and for your reading pleasure, That Think You Do.

Manly Men Thinking Manly Thoughts Manickly (and Women Putting Up With Them)

I can save you from reading this chapter by directing you to The Dancing Forest or The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. Why did I entitle this “Manly Men…” then direct you to a movie about a women’s agricultural collective and a book written by a woman about women’s brain functions?

Because it’s a real quick way to show that men think differently from women (for those who didn’t know).

Perhaps the movie trailer for The Dancing Forest will help.

What follows is a shameless and I hope brief quote of some previous research we did on how women and men think differently in basic social situations, and how knowing this can benefit you the next time you’re out and wanting to make an impression.

I wrote in The NextStage Irregular #2 (the above mentioned company’s newsletter) that, as population ratios go, females tend to be the more…umm…inventive in the information they provide during social discourse, men tend to be more…umm…direct. Women (shown by pink in the chart) fabricate more (left) and tell direct truths (right) less often than men (blue) according to the chart here.

Quick and careful readers will note that being “inventive” and being “direct” are different metrics. And before I go further, let me clarify.

This chart shows that women (right), when fabricating, aren’t doing it maliciously. At least not any more than men (left) are.
Continue readingThat Th!nk You Do Chapter 1 – Manly Men Thinking Manly Thoughts Manickly (and Women Putting Up With Them)”

Them Doore Girls – Narration

Tim Curry invited me to take part in a Hallowe’en podcast with several other authors, each of us reading something we felt fit the season.

Hallowe’en is celebratory to me and mine, and I didn’t think that’s what Tim had in mind.

I have written horror, though.

No, not written horribly (okay, maybe, and I’m getting better (I hope)), and not quite of horrible things (although some of my work is dark, I’ll grant you), so that set me off on a search.

I came up with two things. The first, shared last week, is a concatenation of two chapters in The Shaman, each of which deals with a succubatic kind of creature, Ellewomen. That post is, strangely enough, entitled “The Ellewomen.”

This one, Them Doore Girls, is from a horror story first published in Haunts 1992 and again in my self-published Tales Told Round Celestial Campfires 2016.

FYI, the sound quality is wanting. I find it best through headphones.


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